botherd: (skins: effy)
botherd ([personal profile] botherd) wrote2009-07-20 11:16 am

Fic: Dominoes (Skins; Naomi/Effy, Naomi/Emily; R)

Title: Dominoes
Author: [livejournal.com profile] botherd
Fandom: Skins
Pairings: Naomi/Effy, Naomi/Emily
Rating: R
Words: ~2600
Disclaimer: Characters aren’t mine.
Summary: Naomi and Effy exist solely in the half-light of dawn, when the dirty rainwater glow is just filtering through the curtains and the birds are beginning to sing.
Notes: Written for [livejournal.com profile] queengreen as part of [livejournal.com profile] femslash09. Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] jengrrrl for looking this over. ♥

They implode quietly, Naomi and Emily. There are no raised voices, no words at all, just baleful stares across the chasm stretching between them while a sense of inevitability settles around them like dust. Later, when Naomi's alone, stretched out on her bed in her darkening room, there are no tears, just an endless chain of cigarettes and memories of Emily playing on a loop in her mind.

She lies there for an indeterminable length of time.

---

Naomi finds herself at Effy's. She's not sure why her legs lead her to the Stonem house, but once she's there she can't think of a better place to be.

Effy says nothing when Naomi stands in her doorway, forlorn; the only sign that she acknowledges the state Naomi's in is a slight quirk of an eyebrow, a silent question that doesn't really need to be answered.

Which is just as well. Naomi chokes out, "Emily..." before her throat closes up and Effy's upon her, wrapping her in an awkward, bony hug. It feels unpractised, like Effy's not used to being a shoulder to cry on, but it's comforting all the same and mostly enough to keep the tears at bay. (One or two might escape. Naomi's only human).

Effy takes her out; that's how they deal, after all. But the night is a bust; they find themselves at the same club as Emily and Katie and they end up leaving before they can even get fucked up. But Naomi doesn't want to go home, doesn't want to be alone after seeing the tears in Emily's eyes picked out by strobe lighting, so she goes back with Effy to her house.

There's a half-empty bottle of vodka lying around in Effy's room. Naomi takes a swig without asking.

---

Naomi's not sure what Effy says that's so funny; the words enter her head, hit her humour button, and promptly vanish again, leaving her laughing, choking, spilling vodka down herself.

What Effy does next surprises her: she moves forward in one fluid motion and half-licks, half-kisses the vodka from Naomi's chin, then leans back, a satisfied smirk on her face.

"What was that for?" Naomi asks, her laugh embarrassed now.

"I need a reason?"

"To lick my face? Yeah, you do."

A beat, then Effy says, "Didn't want to waste the booze."

"Because you're in such short supply." Drunk, the words become a tongue-twister, and then they're both laughing, Naomi so hard that she can't breathe. It's almost enough to forget the situation; almost enough, until Effy kisses her again.

"You're fucked up," Naomi says, once they pull apart and she's caught her breath. "In every sense."

"I am," Effy says, "but aren't we all?"

Something inside Naomi wants to say no, but she's no longer sure if that's true.

The next time they kiss, it's Naomi that initiates it.

---

The best thing about fucking Effy--Effy, who has always been so knowing, omniscient--is taking her by surprise and teaching her something new.

She's a fast learner.

---

Afterwards, when the sun is rising, Effy says, "Your life doesn't have to end with her."

---

It lasts about a week. Naomi and Effy exist solely in the half-light of dawn, when the dirty rainwater glow is just filtering through the curtains and the birds are beginning to sing. It feels unreal, lying the wrong way round on Effy's bed and leisurely fucking through a haze of booze and smoke, but that's how it should be--unreal. If it wasn't, Naomi would have to face it. Emily's presence lingers in the room like a ghost, but they never speak her name; such a thing would bring the pain back, sharply anchoring them in reality, and it's better not to feel.

Naomi has become an expert at not feeling.

She lies there in the afterglow of sex, inexplicable laughter bubbling up in her chest. It's the fucking spliff making everything seem funnier than it is, like the way Effy looks at her, knowing how impenetrable her gaze is and revelling in it. She thinks Effy's like a Rubik's cube; deceptively simple to figure out, if you know the right way to look at her, but it's too difficult for most people and they give up while she's still a mess. Naomi's not daft; she knows it's stupid to even try.

Still, she can't help herself asking, "Why are you even doing this?" She doesn't expect a straight answer.

Effy exhales a ring of smoke and smiles. "I like fucking people who aren't in love with me. Less complicated that way."

"It is?"

Effy shrugs, uncaps the nearly-empty bottle of vodka and takes a swig.

"But you don't even like girls."

"Some of us don't make that distinction."

"Fuck you," Naomi says. She finds it's an appropriate response to most things Effy says.

"What, again?" Effy raises an eyebrow. "Sure."

---

One night, they go dancing. Or, that's the plan, but they get so fucked up so quickly that movement is almost beyond them, and they end up wrapped around each other on the dancefloor, barely swaying, while drunken shapes bump into them from all angles. Naomi grips on tight to Effy, burying her face into Effy's shoulder so hard that she sees stars, watches the colours explode on her eyelids--stripes of white and swathes of orange and the occasional wash of blue. Effy feels wrong under Naomi's touch, too tall, too thin, but it's not that Effy's wrong, it's that she's not Emily. It's what she both loves and loathes about Effy: she's elusive, a series of negatives, her whole being defined by the quality of not-Emily.

When Effy kisses her, she tastes sweet and sharp, like a summer fruit that Naomi can't place. The kisses overwhelm her; heat spreads through her body like a forest fire. She thinks she could grow to like not-Emily.

They stay there, wrapped up in each other, until the club closes, and then they stumble back to Naomi's house; it's closer, and they're both too skint for a taxi.

They don't fuck, for a change. They're both too out of it, and too hot; even out of the close heat of the club, the air is too still, and Naomi's sure that if she touched Effy, she'd burn. So they lie on Naomi's bed--Effy on the side which is Emily's no longer--and stare up at the ceiling in a daze. Naomi thinks she can feel the world revolving beneath her--slow here on the surface, deceptive, like they're not hurtling through space.

It makes her feel dizzy, sick. Or maybe that's the drugs. She'd get up and vomit, clear her system like she needs to, but she doesn't want to break the moment by moving. (It's not even a moment worth preserving.)

If she concentrates hard on Effy's presence beside her, she can start to unravel her and make her unreal, like staring at a word for so long that it loses all meaning, becomes unfamiliar and strange. Except she can't stare at Effy, because Effy stares back, through her, this x-ray vision Effy's great secret and gift. So Naomi focuses on the ceiling instead, the yellow almost grey in the lack of light, and feels Effy instead. They're not even touching, but in the inch or two that separates them, Naomi can feel the heat of Effy, and when she accidentally closes her eyes for a moment she sees Effy there, the after-image of Effy's eyes branded on her retinas.

She opens her eyes and moves, the moment ripe for shattering now. Effy's staring at her, like she's been waiting for Naomi to surface and now that she has, Effy has ideas.

"I'm not in the mood," Naomi says, the words scratching unpleasantly at her throat.

Effy ignores her and sits up, crosses her legs, giving herself a better vantage point from which to scrutinise Naomi. Like building a castle on a hill, except Naomi's hardly going to attack.

"Why were you so afraid of being gay?" Effy asks, and the question is so unexpected that Naomi laughs. "Or bi. Liking girls. Why did it scare you?"

"Fuck knows." It seems like years ago now, so distant and far away it's as if the time never existed, relegated to ancient history that can only ever be studied, never experienced. "It wasn't about being gay, it was... realising that I didn't know myself as well as I thought. Wouldn't that freak you out?"

Effy smiles, that wild expression in her eyes. "I don't know myself at all. That's what makes life interesting."

"And that's why no one else really knows you either."

Something in Effy's expression deadens and she lies back down. "Nobody ever really knows anyone, Naomi. Stupid to think you can get inside another person's head."

---

Waking to find Effy in her bed is strange; it feels like Effy's intruding, but it's Naomi's fault for inviting her in the first place. Everything about the picture is wrong, from the long shape of Effy's legs stretching too far under the sheets, to the different timbre of her breathing. She doesn't belong here. In the cocoon of Effy's room they're safe; there, in that strange limbo, they can exist without consequence. It's a place where things don't actually happen and can be forgotten once you leave. Naomi's room is different; it's solid, it belongs in the world. Effy shouldn't be there.

She doesn't stay for breakfast. She slips out as soon as she wakes, without a word, and Naomi thinks that maybe Effy understands.

"That wasn't Emily," Naomi's mum says when Naomi ventures downstairs, and although her tone is conversational, it still feels like an accusation.

"Fuck off, Mum, she's just a friend."

"All right, I was only asking." Her mum smiles sadly, like her heart is breaking. "So what did happen with Emily?"

It's more than Naomi can stand. She registers something hot pricking her eyes before she realises they're tears. She leaves the kitchen without eating.

---

That night, she finds herself at Effy's again. As soon as she flops onto the bed and Effy wordlessly hands her a spliff she feels more relaxed, even before she's taken a drag. They pass it between them and each time she inhales, Naomi feels the tension of the day begin to unspool in her chest until she's so high she feels like she's adrift, cut loose with nothing to anchor her.

Sometimes when Naomi's high, she starts philosophising. For no reason at all, it suddenly becomes important to explain things to Effy, to explain the world, to show that Effy's not the only one who knows things. She wants to explain about free will, and how it doesn't really exist, but the words have a long way to travel from her brain to her mouth, and the ones that don't get lost are swallowed by Effy's kisses instead.

She thinks Effy was born to this, born with a natural talent to make people feel good even when they hate themselves. (It would be a cruel joke, had anyone intended it, because it seems the only person Effy can't extend the talent to is herself, no matter how hard she tries.) Naomi allows herself to get lost in Effy, in the moment, and then she does her best to give back.

She thinks maybe Effy is the sort of person who can never be satisfied, who can never feel enough. Or maybe it's that she feels too much.

"So you believe in fate, then?" Effy asks. Either Naomi had said more than she realised, or Effy intuited what she was thinking. Neither would surprise her.

"It's not like that. Just because we don't have any control, it doesn't mean anything's guiding us." She spreads her hands out in front of her, gesturing uselessly in the air. "It's all just an inevitable chain of events, one thing impacting the next. Like knocking down dominoes, you know?"

Effy tilts her head to one side. "But what if I were to flick the dominoes in a different direction?"

"Ah, well, that's the thing: you are one of the dominoes. You just don't realise it."

"Sounds like an excuse not to give a fuck."

Naomi feels a weight settle on her, a sadness she can't quite shake. "It's something you have to ignore to pretend that anything matters."

For a moment Effy studies her, then her lips quirk up in a smile. "No more spliff for you."

---

It lasts about a week, then just as suddenly as it began, it's over.

They're fucking at the foot of Effy's bed, only slightly tipsy and a little bit high, which counts as sober for them. The movement of Effy's tongue is deliberate and slow, no matter how hard Naomi's fingers twine in her hair, and there's something that Effy does, some imperceptible motion that Naomi wouldn't be able to describe later, that calls to mind Emily. The image of Emily springs into Naomi's mind just as she's about to come, and it's the weirdest orgasm of her life, so much cognitive dissonance going on she loses all sight of where she is.

Effy senses it. Of course she does.

"Why are we even doing this?" Naomi asks, not for the first time. She's not sure it will ever make sense.

"Not everything has to be meaningful, Naomi. Some things just... are."

Naomi looks at her, at the expression she can never penetrate, and the answer is so simple it's a wonder it took her this long to figure out. "Emily and I, though. That means something."

Effy says nothing, nods.

"I think I'll go back to her," Naomi says. "If she'll take me, I mean."

Effy sounds tired when she says, "She will."

"How do you--"

"She will."

---

The walk home is soundtracked by early morning birdsong. The streets of Bristol are grey in the pale dawn light but it smells like summer, the musty scent of recent rain mingling with the occasional waft of honeysuckle. Underfoot, it's damp; there's a hole in the sole of one of Naomi's flimsy pumps, mysteriously acquired the night before, and she feels the cold pavement on her heel with each step. She ought to look where she's going, make sure she doesn't step on anything sharp, but instead she focuses on the sky, watching as the grey slowly succumbs to blue.

The sun's cleared the horizon by the time Naomi gets home, and the last thing she wants to do is sleep. Her mind's too active, the high from the spliff having worn off on the journey back to her house, and she keeps turning over questions in her mind, most of them starting with, "What if?" She sits on the front step and smokes her last cigarette, watching the spirals of smoke dissipate into the air, and once the cigarette's gone she just sits, waiting for the street to slowly wake up. With the first signs of stirring she gets up herself, and after a shower and change of clothes she feels a bit more human, a bit more like her old self.

She starts walking, the route second nature to her. The streets seem almost unfamiliar in the sunlight, too bright, and Naomi wonders how she became so unused to daylight in so short a time, how she was led so far astray.

Sooner than she expected, Naomi turns onto Dibstall Road, and when she's faced with the front door she finds herself hesitating. Part of her wants to cut and run, to find Effy again or just start afresh by herself, but there's a reason why she can't get Emily out of her head and there's no point pretending otherwise. She presses the doorbell.

When she opens the door, Emily smiles.
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[identity profile] botherd.livejournal.com 2009-07-20 04:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks so much, glad you liked! :D

[identity profile] aphrodite-mine.livejournal.com 2009-07-20 11:24 am (UTC)(link)
Oh fuck, this is awesome.

You've given me shivers!!

[identity profile] botherd.livejournal.com 2009-07-20 04:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you! ♥

[identity profile] siviusx.livejournal.com 2009-07-20 11:36 am (UTC)(link)
LOLLL. Just the other day I was saying that I could never see Naomi/Effy work, really, but then you wrote this and now I have to go and edit like 12 comments by being like "UNLESS IT'S LIKE THIS".

I mostly just love this because you love both Effy and Naomi and it shows so clearly that like, yeah. I don't know. I didn't get much sleep, but this was wonderful.

[identity profile] botherd.livejournal.com 2009-07-20 04:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks, dude! ♥ lol, clearly I'm on a roll when it comes to proving you wrong. ;)

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[identity profile] queenbellevue.livejournal.com 2009-07-20 03:47 pm (UTC)(link)
oh wow, as Cassie would say. I've never quoted skins characters before, so that tells u just how awsome this is and how much I LOOOVVEE it to death

[identity profile] botherd.livejournal.com 2009-07-20 04:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Ha, thanks!!

[identity profile] arrrrrrr.livejournal.com 2009-07-20 05:37 pm (UTC)(link)
This was gorgeously done. I'm feeling really sad! Even though you left it on a hopeful/good note. Thank you for making this believable. Effy knowing everything, always, but not being able to help herself? Probably why the lingering sadness.

[identity profile] botherd.livejournal.com 2009-07-22 09:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you! ♥

[identity profile] harper-m.livejournal.com 2009-07-20 06:05 pm (UTC)(link)
this was beautiful. i can't help feeling that effy is only all the more sad because naomi hurt her (because in thinking that effy doesn't give a fuck about anything, you've already hurt her by believing what she wants you to believe.)

regardless, quite lovely.

[identity profile] botherd.livejournal.com 2009-07-22 09:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you. Yes, I think... Naomi wasn't ever really thinking about Effy at all, and was quite oblivious to how she was hurting her.

[identity profile] allknowing88.livejournal.com 2009-07-20 06:29 pm (UTC)(link)
This is really good, love it!

[identity profile] botherd.livejournal.com 2009-07-22 09:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you, I'm glad! ♥

[identity profile] puffy-wuffy.livejournal.com 2009-07-20 07:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Holy blarghedy blargh. I want to be more coherent, but I can't. You're a genius. This feels completely, completely canon.

[identity profile] botherd.livejournal.com 2009-07-22 09:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks!! That's such a compliment ♥

[identity profile] heart1e55m00mba.livejournal.com 2009-07-20 09:03 pm (UTC)(link)
Lovely fic. I'm always a bit skeptical about Effy/Naomi fic because they're great as friends but I can't really see a relationship unless it's set way in the future, but this just worked so well. The opening scene was just gorgeously written and the story flowed so well from there.

[identity profile] botherd.livejournal.com 2009-07-22 10:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks, I'm really glad you liked it! I think they're great as friends too, but it was really interesting to explore how the pairing might work.

[identity profile] lovely-noise.livejournal.com 2009-07-20 09:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Gah, I love this side of Naomi so much, and especially the way you show her.

Just ... like, what the fuck am I doing, and who am I now. So she just, doesn't quite say "fuck it", but also doesn't try and change anything that's going wrong, at least not at first. Just drifts along and with Effy that's just the natural reaction.

Also, I adore Naomi/Effy as a pairing. I agree with Sivi that, at least until you write it to prove me wrong, I'm not sure they could be in love. But as a confused, drift-y sort of ... thing.

Actually, fuck that. They would never have that sort of epic love thing that Emily and Naomi have, but I could easily see them just falling ... slowly. There would always be the feeling of it being a second-choice for Naomi, or at least this kind of lingering sadness. But then that feeling seems to follow both Effy and Naomi individually, so it makes sense that together they'd be a bit lost in life, cause they really are soulmates in many ways, romantically or not.

I just love their dynamic, and a lot is added by them being together, namely that Naomi understands Effy like no one else.

Basically, LOVE. Moar Effy/Naomi please.

[identity profile] botherd.livejournal.com 2009-07-22 10:03 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you! And, yeah, I think I could see them falling in love like that. (Now I want to write it but I have other projects, dammit.)

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ext_109459: ([Skins] Objects Of Lust)

[identity profile] palex-4-ever.livejournal.com 2009-07-20 11:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Fucking wonderful!!!
Nice to see another Effy/Naomi fic [and this one tops them all!]

[identity profile] botherd.livejournal.com 2009-07-22 10:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you! :D

[identity profile] daneorange.livejournal.com 2009-07-21 12:54 am (UTC)(link)
Naomi and Effy exist solely in the half-light of dawn, when the dirty rainwater glow is just filtering through the curtains and the birds are beginning to sing.

but it's not that Effy's wrong, it's that she's not Emily

this was lovely, the way naomi does not believe in fate in the aftermath of a breakup, the way effy does not make a distinction, the way everything comes down to emily in the end. just, oh, all these lovely heavy things in my chest. thanks for sharing ♥

[identity profile] botherd.livejournal.com 2009-07-22 10:05 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you for reading! I'm really happy you liked it. ♥

[identity profile] jelei.livejournal.com 2009-07-21 02:32 am (UTC)(link)
"And that's why no one else really knows you either."

I really like this line- Effy needs someone to say those sort of things to her. It really resonates.

[identity profile] botherd.livejournal.com 2009-07-22 10:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you! Yeah, I think they're honest with each other in a way that others aren't, and that can be good for them.

[identity profile] cobalt-siren.livejournal.com 2009-07-21 02:40 am (UTC)(link)
She thinks Effy was born to this, born with a natural talent to make people feel good even when they hate themselves. (It would be a cruel joke, had anyone intended it, because it seems the only person Effy can't extend the talent to is herself, no matter how hard she tries.) Naomi allows herself to get lost in Effy, in the moment, and then she does her best to give back. She thinks maybe Effy is the sort of person who can never be satisfied, who can never feel enough. Or maybe it's that she feels too much.

This paragraph really got to me. It's so fucking insightful, I love this characterization of Effy, and I love how Naomi was too in this story. Maybe I'm a sucker for philosophy, but I loved them high together, trying to forget. Awesome fic.

[identity profile] botherd.livejournal.com 2009-07-22 10:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you so much! I find it quite hard to get into Effy's head, so I'm really glad her characterisation worked for you.

[identity profile] keepix3.livejournal.com 2009-07-21 07:55 am (UTC)(link)
Effy's lines are really deep, really true too I guess, i mean that's how i imagine her and all...Nice.

[identity profile] botherd.livejournal.com 2009-07-22 10:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks! ♥

[identity profile] bookcat.livejournal.com 2009-07-21 08:43 am (UTC)(link)
this is absolutely phenomenal and a goddamn wonderful characterization and plot motivations and great stuff. The bit about Effy's natural talent really gave me a visceral oomph-to-the-stomach and a awwww-in-the-throat.

[identity profile] botherd.livejournal.com 2009-07-22 10:11 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm really glad you liked it, thank you!

[identity profile] queengreen.livejournal.com 2009-07-22 06:48 am (UTC)(link)
So I know this is about two days too late, but I had to get an extension on for the fic I wrote and didn't think it was fair to read this one until I posted that one. Sorry for the delay.
That being said:
GEE FLIPPIN WHILLIKERS! I don't even know if I've got it in me to for, a proper response, but I'm going to try. I think the best place to start is that I absolutely love and adore this fic. This is my first time doing a femslash ficathon, and quite honestly, I never would have expected something this brilliant and beautifully crafted. I mean, it amazes me just how effective the first little section with Naomi and Emily breaking up is. Like from the very beginning you just set forth this pitch perfect tone that followed throughout the rest of the fic in the most deliciously heartbreaking manner.

I think was really sold me were the descriptions though.
Naomi and Effy exist solely in the half-light of dawn, when the dirty rainwater glow is just filtering through the curtains and the birds are beginning to sing. It feels unreal, lying the wrong way round on Effy's bed and leisurely fucking through a haze of booze and smoke, but that's how it should be--unreal.
Passages like this are just so unbelievably poetic and moving. They not only gave you what to see, but told you how to feel, in ways that go beyond basic descriptions and just... touch you I guess. I slowly felt myself being pulled deeper and deeper into this world and for a few short moments, it didn't feel like I was reading a fic; it felt like I was actually there, sharing those moments with the characters.

The ending... was just perfect, and I haven't quite figured out how to properly summarize my feelings on this yet, so I'll leave it at perfect.

So yeah, here's the deal, and I swear I'm not saying this because it was sort of written for me, but this is one of the greatest fics I've ever read. And I've been reading fanfiction since I was just shy of 13. In a relatively short space, it was incredibly poignant and just beautiful. I don't know if I've ever been quite so enamored with a fic instantly, but this story has definitely moved me in a way I wasn't expecting.

Alright, fangirling complete. Hope I didn't come off too excitable (it's not my fault the fic was so damn good). And I'm sorry for any typos in this comment. They tend to be frequent when I'm excitedly typing. Oh, and THANKS!!!

Oh, and I just realized I didn't even get to the characterizations... I think I need more time to properly mull over them, because they were so fantastically layered. To be short and simple about it, they were perfect as well and were both true to canon, while expanding on them at the same time. I loved them!
Edited 2009-07-22 06:51 (UTC)

[identity profile] botherd.livejournal.com 2009-07-22 09:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you so much, dude! I'm so glad you liked it. :D When I got your requests I was excited to see this pairing on there (because I love their dynamic, but there isn't a whole lot of fic about them) and I really enjoyed writing it, so thanks for requesting it! And, yeah, I'm just ridiculously happy that you liked the fic. ♥

licking of the face! win!

[identity profile] one6two6.livejournal.com 2009-07-22 07:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Ah, when you'd said that thing about this pairing in a comment, I didn't think it'd turn out to 2k words of awesome!

I like their interaction a heck of a lot. No bullshit, just straight to the point all the time. It was really neat, and the cuteness at the end, just ♥

Re: licking of the face! win!

[identity profile] botherd.livejournal.com 2009-07-22 10:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks! Yeah, I would've said I was writing this, but I had to keep it quiet for the ficathon. Glad you liked it!

[identity profile] zulu.livejournal.com 2009-07-23 04:04 am (UTC)(link)
Very nice! I like the poor decisions Naomi makes when she's not sure of how to make the right ones, and I feel sad for Effy for not really being able--I think--to say what she really wants.

[identity profile] botherd.livejournal.com 2009-07-23 09:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks for reading! I'm glad you liked it. ♥

[identity profile] darlyka.livejournal.com 2009-07-24 05:57 am (UTC)(link)
Awwwwwwwwww that was so cute, seriously and the end, just melted my heart... it was really great how you portray Effy and Emily like dark and ligh, like night and day =) and Naomi, struggle her own battle it was perfect.. an ovation for you, excellent my friend, high five

[identity profile] botherd.livejournal.com 2009-07-25 09:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, thank you, I'm happy you liked it! ♥

[identity profile] shadowings.livejournal.com 2009-07-25 03:29 am (UTC)(link)
I am sad for Effy and can't decide whether I'm happy for Naomi and Emily. Agh.

(It would be a cruel joke, had anyone intended it, because it seems the only person Effy can't extend the talent to is herself, no matter how hard she tries.)

So true.

[identity profile] botherd.livejournal.com 2009-07-25 09:06 pm (UTC)(link)
can't decide whether I'm happy for Naomi and Emily

Yeah, I wanted to leave it ambiguous - hopeful, but still unresolved. Thanks for reading! ♥

[identity profile] violet4120.livejournal.com 2009-08-01 07:52 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm so late in reading this, as the Bar took away weeks of my life, but this is gorgeous. You write them both so well, but I absolutely love your Effy. So, so much. Such beautiful insight and imagery, and my personal fave:

In the cocoon of Effy's room they're safe; there, in that strange limbo, they can exist without consequence. It's a place where things don't actually happen and can be forgotten once you leave. Naomi's room is different; it's solid, it belongs in the world. Effy shouldn't be there.

[identity profile] botherd.livejournal.com 2009-08-01 11:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks! I find Effy quite difficult to write (I never feel like I can get inside her head) so I'm really pleased you liked her in this. ♥

[identity profile] wham-bar.livejournal.com 2009-08-17 12:22 pm (UTC)(link)
This is a beautiful masterpiece.
You seriously are a genius. I love how everything they say and do is in character. Ah, i'm adding you. :)

[identity profile] botherd.livejournal.com 2009-08-19 06:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, wow, thanks! I'm really glad you liked it. :D

[identity profile] lizardwriter.livejournal.com 2010-01-02 01:15 am (UTC)(link)
Beautifully written! I feel a bit bad for Effy, but I loved the happy hopefullness at the end. I really loved Naomi's decision-making. Also how she just felt that Effy was wrong for her all along. Really lovely! :D Thanks for sharing!

[identity profile] nemofrommars.livejournal.com 2012-03-01 10:16 am (UTC)(link)
This fic is amazing... Fucking flawless in its every single word. I can't explain how much I loved it. Effy, in her complexity, is beautifully described through Naomi's eyes, and the Naomily background is perfect. Heartbreaking, straight to the point, *real*. To be honest, this is how I've always imagined a possibile Naomi/Effy romantic-sexual relationship. As I said, just perfect. Congrats!
Ah, sorry for any mistakes: English is not my first language, I'm Italian.
But in spite of that, I'd love to translate your fanfic in Italian - I think I can try, at least, if you'll give me permission, of course :D
Thanks in advance!