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What the everloving fuck.
Oh, Jesus. I always knew the Skins novel would be bad, but I didn't realise it was going to be THIS bad. I just. I can't believe someone got paid to write such bad fanfiction.
I mean, let's look at that extract:
‘Ooh, hello,’ said Katie loudly, tossing her hair like a frisky Shetland pony. ‘What do we have here?’ [This, apparently, is Katie's reaction to seeing a fit boy.]
WHAAAAT. Aside from the fact that that is THE MOST RIDICULOUS SIMILE EVER (can you imagine if Katie actually tossed her hair like a horse?), is that remotely in character based on the events of episode nine? Um, NO.
She clambered haughtily down the rocks to the beach.
If there were a Venn diagram of 'clamber' and 'haughty', I'm pretty sure the circles wouldn't overlap.
‘HELLO? I’m GAY,’ I hissed loudly.
WE USE CAPS FOR EMPHASIS. The 'hissed loudly' makes it even better.
I left Katie trussing herself up like Jordan’s little sister. False eyelashes, cement mix foundation, skirt up to her fanny.
Yeah, no. Katie is classier than that shit.
‘Hey lover.’
Um, WHAT. Can you actually imagine Naomi saying that? Lol forever.
AND THEN WE GET TO THE PHONE SEX WHICH MAKES ME WANT TO CURL UP AND DIE. I mean, okay, dirty talk always hits my embarrassment squick extra hard, but this is especially brutal. I can't even force myself to reread it and pick out quotes.
In conclusion: I'm pretty sure I could do a better job. (I'm not saying my writing is OMG AMAZING, but I'd at least put more thought into it than this hack did.) I know lots of other fandomers could. And yet this gets published! *weeps*
I mean, let's look at that extract:
‘Ooh, hello,’ said Katie loudly, tossing her hair like a frisky Shetland pony. ‘What do we have here?’ [This, apparently, is Katie's reaction to seeing a fit boy.]
WHAAAAT. Aside from the fact that that is THE MOST RIDICULOUS SIMILE EVER (can you imagine if Katie actually tossed her hair like a horse?), is that remotely in character based on the events of episode nine? Um, NO.
She clambered haughtily down the rocks to the beach.
If there were a Venn diagram of 'clamber' and 'haughty', I'm pretty sure the circles wouldn't overlap.
‘HELLO? I’m GAY,’ I hissed loudly.
WE USE CAPS FOR EMPHASIS. The 'hissed loudly' makes it even better.
I left Katie trussing herself up like Jordan’s little sister. False eyelashes, cement mix foundation, skirt up to her fanny.
Yeah, no. Katie is classier than that shit.
‘Hey lover.’
Um, WHAT. Can you actually imagine Naomi saying that? Lol forever.
AND THEN WE GET TO THE PHONE SEX WHICH MAKES ME WANT TO CURL UP AND DIE. I mean, okay, dirty talk always hits my embarrassment squick extra hard, but this is especially brutal. I can't even force myself to reread it and pick out quotes.
In conclusion: I'm pretty sure I could do a better job. (I'm not saying my writing is OMG AMAZING, but I'd at least put more thought into it than this hack did.) I know lots of other fandomers could. And yet this gets published! *weeps*
no subject
Sleeping around is Effy, not Katie, and at least when Effy does it its not soon slutish :/
Katie just seems to be written as cheap.
I think someone just told whoever wrote it a few characteristics and she mucked them up.
I kinda hate Emily and I never thought I would, she loves Katie in the show and would be worried if she was shagging around, not be horrible and have phone sex on the sand while being interupted by a random
I shall try to be calm